How to Create a Life Partnership

Live Holistically is a multi-author site.
This post was written by: Carol Webb

Our 35th Wedding Anniversary dawned today, rather like the day that we married, with sunshine and blue skies. Half way through the ceremony it rained, but we came out of the church into brilliant sun, our shoes and the hem of my long white dress got a little muddy, but the photographs show smiling people, and all the good wishes that were genuinely sent in our direction. I had no way of knowing this at the time, but this was the perfect analogy for our life together.

I unwittingly married a substitute father, as most women do, and since I had many battles with my father, the theme continued. I craved criticism, and criticism is what I got, in spades!

By the time I realised that I really didn’t like this, I was the mother of two beautiful girls whose lives would have been turned upside-down if I had followed my inclination to run away from the situation, and so for whatever reason, I decided to stay married. I was beginning to think and question by now, and knew that it was my choice to make, but if I made the choice to stay, then I needed to learn how to be happy with that choice. It was not my husband who needed to change, if I changed then so would he.

Thankfully I was always an avid reader and remember devouring book after book on relationships, Transactional Analysis, and spirituality. Although it wasn’t until the main protagonists in our story, father, mother, mother-in-law, were dead that I was truly able to forgive them and forgive myself, a priceless exercise and one that has reaped rich rewards.

The books brought both myself and my husband to a place of new understanding, and we went on to carry them through with further study. A minor brush with organized religion shattered the peace for a while, but thankfully that is now in the past and put down to experience, and we did learn a great deal about the laws of religion and are both familiar with the Bible. No learning is ever wasted!

On every important occasion my husband writes me a poem, and this is the one that has made all that hard work and even harder choices worth while;

You Are the Now:

You are the now
And you are here
The past is gone
The future clear

In time, in space
I see the light
And aim to set
My thinking right

But for today
This season’s wine
Know I am yours
And you are mine

For I am here
And I am now
Yours forever
This is my vow

If you are struggling with a relationship then visit my website: http//www.wisehealer.co.uk and read how you might make different decisions which will create a different outcome for your relationship.

This book looks at relationships and how to heal them in a very different way. I recommend this book as a good starting point.